I had a really great peer review session for my third paper. Both Lizzie and Kevin gave me great ideas in how to change my paper. My thesis was clear and I introduced my authors in a formal way. I do have some strategies that I could work on:
- clearer sentences
- more specific arguments
- expand on thoughts of interactions with screens
- add conclusion
- add more discussion from Wasik’s article
- combine paragraphs w/ similar themes
- make two more supporting argument
I plan on being more specific with my claims. Lizzie pointed out that I need to be clearer on my arguments with saying that my stance on why schools shouldn’t spend money on expensive equipment. I know what I need to change after my peer group and I discussed my weak points and my strongest points I should keep. Some sentences didn’t flow together quite the way I wanted too but my peers points out where should delete those. I definitely want to be more specific with my arguments to make sure that this is a strong paper that relates back to my thesis. I also have a great paragraph for my naysayer stance that I think will fit the best at the end of my paper. I may expand on it to make sure that I get both sides of the argument.
