Here lies my hopes and dreams

Revision Strategy – Paper 2

After getting my peer review back, I realized the changes I would need to make after my peers pointed out the weakest points in my essay.  After discussing what I needed to work on I knew exactly what my plan would be. My biggest problems surrounding my paper were the following:

  • run on sentences
  • getting off topic
  • finding a position statement
  • a few grammatical/wording errors
  • not introducing quotes
  • not introducing authors and introducing my ideas more clearly
  • After my group and I talked, they gave me some tips on how I should change up my paper. One of my peers said that I need to fixate on who I am talking to in my introduction. I looked back and saw that this was a big problem and I had said “we” way too often, this gave it too much of a generalized feel to my readers. I immediately knew I needed to change that. I also knew that it was a major problem that I had failed to introduce my authors so I knew that it was something that was essential to work on. Throughout my paper, I felt confident in the quotes that I had used to back up my statements but I realized I had failed to introduce them properly, or even explain why I was talking about them!
  • I find that when I am writing, I tend to just write whatever comes to mind. Because of this, I often had run on sentences. I plan to fix this by reading more out loud or even having someone proofread my rough drafts just to make sure there were none. I have a problem with getting off topic and jumbling up where I want my main arguments to me. I felt my paper had good arguments but at times I jumped from one idea to another.
  • Thankfully my peers helped me get through this process and showed me good ways to alternate my paper so it would read smoother than it had before

1 Comment

  1. elishaemerson

    Carolyn,

    I’m not sure if there’s supposed to be content here, but as of now, I don’t see anything.

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